survivorforum.com

Garricks · Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:10 pm Post subject: Supportive Spouses

Hi everyone

I would like to endorse how much Survivor Forum has been such a wonderful place for people to process and get support with their memories and issues relating to abuse trauma.

As some of you will have figured, I'm Janies' husband and I know how much this website has contributed to her progress with working through her memories.

Janies said that a place was being set up for supportive spouses in the registered (only) members area; so I registered and it wasn't clearly obvious where I was meant to go. Perhaps the moderators could sort out a place that is a little easier to find for Supportive Spouses who only want to register. It would be nice to be told "where to go" as most of us are used to being told "where to go"....(joke ....no offence intended to anyone)

Sometimes life can be tricky for spouses. It can be like being a classroom teacher with 30 or more different young people all wanting their own needs attended to.....and while knowing in your head what the issues and backgrounds of each student are......not having experienced first hand those things and being then accused of not understanding even though you are doing your best to understand. Life then gets so full of the students needs that you become at risk of not doing anything about your own needs.

But the joy and satisfaction when real progress is made ...... I'm sure Joanies can identify with those feelings as a teacher ....... knowing that change has happened and that progress has been made .....making all the hard work worthwhile.

Be encouraged everyone. As I see it, what is happening on this forum is really worthwhile and has the potential to achieve miracles in the way peoples lives are changed.

Have a great day.

Wishing you all the best from "down under" (Southern Hemisphere).

Garricks

kathy · Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:39 pm Post subject: spouse section is a TM group

Hi Garricks!!!!! Very Happy

Glad to see you here!!!!

I've heard only the nicest of things about you -- I'm looking forward to your presence around here a whole lot more. Smile

And well, the section that Janies was referring to is down in the therapeutic membership side. Everyone that posts here has to "register", just as you've done. However, "registering" a username only allows folks to post in the survivor-support side. The paid TM side is where we have been doing the spouse support, and is where the vast majority of the therapy work / processing happens. I've been adding some new groups to address the various spouse / marital type issues, and yes, some of the spouse groups are not visible to the trauma survivors. Many of the groups will be visible to both spouses and survivors, but recently, I've decided to separate some of the topics for added privacy, and to keep folks from inadvertently stepping on each other's toes.

The spouse section is just building, and you are certainly welcome to be part of this whole process. Welcome, welcome...

Kathy

Joanies · Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:43 pm Post subject:

Hi hi to Garrick and little G
How wonderful to see you have joined us here at Sf.... Very Happy

Know if i/we can help you in anyway navigate around here,please let us know...
You and Janies have certainly been angels in my life..
Thank you for your friendship and support..it has meant so much to us
all the joanies
_________________
It takes a long time for a scarred heart to grow wings... all the joanies
angel blessings

cerby · jim jam'n blogger Joined: 29 Oct 2005 Posts: 3763

Hi Garricks,

wow, welcome! so glad you are here!!!!

we are hoping our own hubby, ron, will be joining you shortly!

hope you find it helpful and supportive!

cerby

Garricks · Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 4:40 am Post subject: Thanks for the great welcome!!

Thank you everyone for the great welcome.

Kathy, it is good you are setting up areas for spouses/partners because it is so hard for survivors to walk the healing journey on their own and any loving partner can not but help share the load at least a little bit ... it's the least we can do .... and on that journey it is so likely that we too pick up some baggage on the way. I'm reminded of "a problem shared is a problem halved" but the mathematics person in me says it makes more sense that if the problem is shared by many then the problem is divided by many and therefore becomes a fraction of the problem.

Janies reckons that I'm probably an undiagnosed Asbergers so I had better not go on about mathematics or you will all think she has got it right....(:

I've been encouraged to join the Therapeutic section so look for me there in the future.

Take care everyone and have a good yesterday (Yowl....we are a day ahead of most of you ..haha)

Cheers

Garrick

Lightblue · Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:48 am Post subject:

Welcome Garricks!

Glad to see you here! Very Happy

Lightblue

Pilgrimchild · Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:20 pm Post subject:

Garricks it sounds like you're trying hard to be supportive, and that's really nice to hear. I think it must be incredibly hard to be married to someone with DID. I know that I frustrate and confuse my husband a LOT. I'm glad you're making efforts to understand and get more information. That's awesome. I know this is an old thread and I don't know if you are still around, but I hope you are.